


Lights Will Guide You Home

by breakofday



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Book Spoilers, F/M, Fem!Ori - Freeform, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Recovery, sad things, she's really cute I promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2013-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-02 09:22:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakofday/pseuds/breakofday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>BOOK SPOILERS</p><p>After losing her two best friends in the Battle of the Five Armies, Ori's grief becomes suffocating. Struggling to find a reason just to keep living, she discovers a kindred spirit in her unlikely friend, Dwalin, who does everything he can to help her recover and to keep the promise she made to Fili. When she accidentally stumbles across a conspiracy to undermine Dain's throne, Ori has to choose who she can really trust.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ooookay so. I've been RPing this really adorable fem!Ori and really wanted to show her off to you guys so you can see how fab she is. And then I got sad and started writing something and...well...this is probably going to be a multichapter Dwori fic (whoops)
> 
> With the other fics I've got going, this one's probably going to be pretty slow as far as updates. I just have this thing for Ori and wanted to share it.
> 
> And yes, another title based off Coldplay. What can I say, they have the best OTP songs.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Ori had always felt sort of fragile, delicate for a dwarf. She was too skinny, too gentle, not tough enough. But never before had she felt quite like this, like the slightest thing would make her shatter into pieces. She felt broken, unsteady, like pieces of her had been ripped out and tossed away where she wouldn’t ever find them.

 

Burying her two best friends had done that.

 

By the time Fili and Kili had been found on the battlefield, they were beyond help, but Ori had hoped anyway. Kili was already gone when Fili had grasped her hand and made her promise to live for them, to make the most of what she had and to please, please please remember us. She had promised, and a few moments later, he was dead.

 

Ori swallowed as she crept down the stone stairs to the catacombs. Nearly all the royal Durin line that had ruled Erebor were buried here, and it was where Thorin, Fili, and Kili all rested now. It had quickly become one of her places to go when she wanted to talk, somewhere she went to be alone and to think of what she’d lost.

 

She sat down across from where Fili was entombed and pulled her knees up to her chest. Soon there would be likenesses of the deceased, but they weren’t finished just yet. For now, there was just the cold stone slab with Fili’s true name carved into it. Ori stared at that name, lips forming it a few times, though she didn’t dare speak it out loud.

 

“I miss you.”

 

The words came out broken and shaky. Ori wiped a sleeve across her eyes and took a deep breath.

 

“It’s so quiet here now.” Her voice was a little more even this time, and she hugged her knees to her chest. “All the laughing and crude jokes and happiness...it’s all gone, like you took it with you when you left.”

 

She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Fili. I know I promised to live enough for all three of us, but I...I don’t know how. I’m not like you. I’m not brave or outgoing or good with people. I can’t really fight and I’m horrible at parties and I’m--.”

 

Ori fell silent again, sniffling a little. “It isn’t fair, what happened to you.” Her voice trembled and shook. “I know you always dreamed of this place and being princes and...it…never happened.” Tears fell unchecked from her cheeks and she tried to catch her breath.

 

“Mahal, Fili...Sometimes I just...I think of what happened and I can’t _breathe_. I miss you so much.” A sob slipped from Ori’s lips and she bowed her head, resting her chin on her knees. “You should be here. I miss your smile and the way your eyes lit up and your laugh. And there’s...there’s so many moments where I catch myself looking for you before I remember.” She wiped her eyes again, biting her lip. “I wish we’d had more time. I wish that I’d told you how I felt but I was so _scared_. I guess I just...thought you’d always be there, you know? You were so steady and constant and you treated me so well, even though I was so--”

 

Her voice cracked. “You shouldn’t have even talked to me. But you did, and so much more. You--you took care of me and you were there when I needed someone and you always, _always_  made me smile.” A sound somewhere between a gasp and a sob burst from her and she had to pause a moment, struggling to breathe.

 

“It’s like a knife in my chest,” Ori whispered. “I can’t stop thinking about you and I--I wish…”

 

She fell silent again, sniffling and wiping at her eyes with her sleeve. It was always impossible to keep herself calm in these moments, when the grief tore at her and she could feel the hole that it had left in her heart. Fili and Kili had both meant a lot to her, but it was Fili that she’d had feelings for, that had been the sun in her sky and the light of her life, and she’d never told him.

 

“I wish it had been me instead,” she finally managed to get out, her voice a hoarse whisper.

 

Ori dropped her head into her knees, shoulders shaking as she began to cry in earnest. A blanket was draped around her shoulders and her head jerked up as a broad hand covered her slim shoulder. Dwalin was kneeling beside her, his eyes wet as he gave her a weak smile and opened his arms to her.

 

Ori didn’t even think. She clung to the tattooed dwarf and cried until there were no tears left. He held her close, rubbed circles into her back and kissed the top of her head. Dwalin made no sound, but she could feel the dampness on his cheeks from where his face was pressed lightly against hers. They sat like that for some time, both grieving a loss that they would never truly recover from.

 

It wasn’t until the tears dried that Dwalin carefully scooped the young dwarrow-dam up in his arms. Ori made no sound of complaint, arms wrapped around his neck and feeling almost terrifyingly empty, like a rag wrung out and left to dry. She closed her eyes and let him take her away, listening to the sound of his heart and their mingled breaths just to have something to focus on.

 

Her focus drifted in and out, and it wasn’t really until she was tucked into bed with a warm mug of tea in her hands and Dwalin sitting on the bed beside her that she came back to herself. There was a part of her that noted that she was in Dwalin’s chambers, but it just seemed so inconsequential a fact that she didn’t really think much of it at all. And then there was that quiet questioning of where Dwalin had even gotten the tea _from_ , but again, it just didn’t seem to matter.

 

The tattooed dwarf cautiously put an arm around her shoulders and she leaned in against him, comforted by his presence. During the journey here, they’d developed a rather unlikely friendship, and she trusted him. He would protect her, and it seemed that was true in the emotional department as well.

 

“Don’t you ever think you aren’t good enough, Ori,” Dwalin said softly. Ori’s eyes flickered up to his face and she nodded mutely, not really believing him but wanting him to feel acknowledged.

 

A long silence passed and she sipped quietly at her tea before she found her voice again.

 

“Does it ever stop hurting?” she finally got out, her voice faint. Dwalin squeezed her shoulders lightly.

 

“No,” he admitted. “But it does get easier. Give it time.”

 

Ori nodded again, closing her eyes again as she leaned against him. She felt his lips brush her hair and he gently took the cup from her grasp.

 

“Chin up, lass.” A thumb brushed over Ori’s jawline and she opened her eyes, finally meeting his gaze. There was a softness there that she’d never seen before. “Now get some rest,” he told her after a moment.

 

He made to pull away, but Ori grabbed onto his arm and held it tight. “Please stay with me,” she whispered.

 

Dwalin hesitated before finally nodding. Shifting a little, he laid down beside her and held an arm out. Ori gave him a tiny smile before curling up against him, resting her head lightly on his chest.

 

“Thank you,” Ori murmured. The last she knew was of Dwalin’s soft chuckle, his breath in her hair and his steady heartbeat to lull her to sleep.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The lands that had once been called the Desolation were starting to recover. It was like with the dragon’s death, everything started to right itself. Like the natural balance of nature, or something. Ori breathed in deep as she walked quietly through the budding fields, her thoughts drifting to the last time she passed through here before the battle.

 

That age old question of “so what will you do with your share?” had been going around the Company. Fili and Kili were laughing and joking with each other about buying their own tavern and naming a mead after themselves. Then Fili had turned to look back at Ori and asked her what she would do, and she’d been so caught by surprise to hear him ask such a question that she’d gone bright red and stammered. Kili had laughed, but Fili had dropped back to ride beside her, and he’d given her this look that he wore a lot, his apologizing-on-behalf-of-Kili look, and asked her, more quietly this time, what she would do with her share.

 

“New clothes,” had been her immediate response, followed by a list of fairly simple things. New quills, parchment, books to read… Fili’s smile had softened, and that look on his face, it wasn’t quite _pity_ , it was more… _sympathy_. And even though the Desolation was dark and foreboding around them, Fili’s smile had lit the whole world up.

 

Ori took a shaky breath, returning from her memories to the present and wishing for a moment that she could just...live in the past. If she could just relive her whole life, go back to all those times when she was with Fili and Kili, maybe she could change something a little, fix the future so that he could still be here.

 

Or that Fili would at least know that she cared far more than she should.

 

Ori kept walking, leaving Erebor further and further behind her. Maybe if she could just get away for a while, things would suddenly seem clearer and the grief that refused to leave her would start to relinquish its hold. She just wanted to feel better. Dwalin had said the only cure was time, but what, she was just supposed to sit around and wait for everything to work itself out?

 

While her feet wandered, so did her mind. Ori wasn’t paying attention to where she was going nor did she particularly care. She just wanted to be away, somewhere she would feel a little better, a little less sad. Blinded by grief, it wasn’t much of a surprise when her foot bumped into something and tripped her up.

 

She let out a soft groan as she hit the ground and laid there for a moment before she had the energy to push herself up. She glanced back to see what she had tripped over…

 

And froze.

 

She’d tripped over a body of what appeared to be an Erebor guard. Gasping, Ori stumbled back several paces, clapping her hands to her mouth to keep from screaming. The unfortunate dwarf looked as though he’d been dead for some time, an arrow protruding from his chest. She recognized the fletching as orcish.

 

Oh, she should have never come out here by herself. Frightened, she started back towards home, only to realize that she wasn’t sure which way she’d even come. She’d been so lost in her thoughts that she’d actually gotten lost.

 

“No. No, no. This can’t be happening,” she murmured to herself, looking around wildly. Choosing a direction, she gathered up handfuls of her skirts and started to run.

 

This definitely wasn’t the right way. Instead of spotting Erebor, she only found another corpse. Letting out a soft whimper, she chose a different direction. She’d only gone a few steps when she heard the whistle of an arrow through air and then a sharp pain through her left shoulder blade. Crying out, she hit the ground hard, gasping for breath. No, no, she had to get out of here, she couldn’t die out here like this!

 

Ori tried to push herself up to crawl, but pain shot through her shoulder and she collapsed again. It was agonizing, and with every desperate flutter of her heart, the wound throbbed. There were footsteps behind her, running towards her, and she let out a frightened cry, struggling forward and trying to muscle through the agony flaring in her shoulder.

 

She was going to die.

 

A hand wrapped around her good shoulder, pulling her up to her feet. Whimpering, she stood shakily, her face wet with tears. Expecting to see an orc, or worse, she gasped as she instead came face to face with a fierce looking iron mask. Brown eyes, almost gold, widened as she realized what that meant. _Dwarves_. She was safe!

 

“What’s a pretty little lassie like you doin’ out here, eh?” The accent was heavy but familiar. _He’s from Ered Luin_ , Ori realized, and relaxed.

 

“I-I was just out walking,” she stammered. “S-someone shot me. There’s guards, dead, orcish arrows. P-please, I have to get back home and tell someone that there’s orcs still out here!”

 

For a moment, there was silence. Then laughter issued out from behind the mask, cold and mirthless, and something icy settled in the pit of Ori’s stomach.

 

“It...it wasn’t orcs, was it?” she whispered.

 

The other dwarf didn’t answer. Something collided with the back of Ori’s skull hard, and everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suddenly a plot is developing! Woooo!


End file.
